Hannah L Stone

this is where I write the light

The cost of adding

A friend and her husband are in Ethiopia for a court date in the adoption process of adopting two boys. They got to meet the boys for the first time the other day and her updates via facebook have been emotion filled.  Yesterday, shortly after reading a status update that said she was 30 minutes away from meeting her sons for the first time, I left the house and was running errands with my own son. I was pulling out of our neighborhood and though of her in a room halfway around the world meeting her sons and tears pricked at my eyes.

The first meeting of your child is so sweet. Beforehand there is much waiting, praying, uncomfortable feelings, struggles, wondering, and the waiting, the waiting, the waiting. And then all that surge of pressure and pain, anticipation, until finally, finally they are there and your heart explodes with love the first moment you lay eyes on that child. Yours.

I thought of this lovely woman with two biological children of her own standing in that room with her two new sons, meeting them for the first time. For her to stand there and tell them she chooses them, she will always choose them, they have a family in her and her husband; siblings waiting in the states.

There is always pain in adding to your family. There is always a cost. If the children come through biology there is the physical pain of birthing, the cost of hospital bills, the cost of your body. If the children come through adoption there is the cost of agencies, sometimes emotional pain, the pain of not knowing how long the gestation period will be.

There is always a cost and some days that cost seems steep, almost too high.

And then you have a doctors appointment and you hear the wild galloping of the baby’s heartbeat.
You get a letter from a lawyer, an agency; things are getting close.
Your hands raise in praise and you count the cost.

You have a doctors appointment and you hear words like syndromes, need to run the test again.
You get news from the government of the country you are adopting from, new laws are in place – all adoptions are suspended.
You bend your knees in prayer, not understanding but trusting God will make a way, you count the cost.

Whatever the cost is in adding to your family, when you see that child for the first time you would gladly pay it again and again and again. That first glimpse of your child and for them you would pay a steep price.

The image of Christ on the cross is so vivid to me, so clear. The pain He felt in adding humanity to his family.

The surge of pressure and pain He felt, the tearing in His body, not from birthing a baby, but from absorbing sin into His perfect sinless body and how it tore Him apart and made Him bleed out. Until finally, finally, He breathed his last, surrendered His life and His heart exploded with salvation.

For Him there was the ultimate cost; He felt the cost dearly, He counted the cost.

He saw my face and He paid the price for me.

He chose us. He will always choose us.

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