Hannah L Stone

this is where I write the light
wait

wait

 

Do you see it there?  The small, faint rainbow smudged in the sky that I quickly snapped at a stop light.

It’s not much to look at really, just a flash of color out of the corner of my eye.  A glimmer in the darkening sky.  But I saw it before the clouds rolled over the top of it, erasing it away.

There is a lot in my heart right now, anxiety that creeps up from the edges and sits squarely on my chest.  I have to force myself to pick it up and put it away.  What good does it do me to think about what ifs?

Waiting is hard, and when it is concern not for myself, but for my child waiting is even harder.  I feel I want to storm a castle, to pound on doors and demand.  It was my sons birthday this weekend and I was thinking back on his life, looking back through pictures and word this weekend that kept being whispered to my heart was wait.

6 years ago yesterday our second child was born.  We were about to be discharged when they noticed he had rapid breathing and a slight fever.  He had to have an IV and we had to wait 48 hours for a blood culture.

Wait.

He had a speech delay and in the starting of his therapy things were kicked around, would he progress?  Was it something other than a speech delay?  We would just have to wait and see.

Wait.

He’s battling something right now.  We don’t know what it is.  There have been aggravations on top of aggravations in this process.  And my mama bear is strong.  But this weekend there was nothing more we could do until today rolled around and we could get paperwork finally pushed through.

Wait.

This morning the wind picked up and the clouds rolled in.  The rain started to fall.  But the sun what also shining.  The rain the dark clouds and the light are all needed to make a rainbow.  And I saw it, that little faint flash of color before it was gone again.

It was enough.  Just that little sight in the sky.  It was enough.

Hope.
Wait.
Promise.

 

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